Routine Order

For times when the romance has gone out of your life, it is time to think in cliches. Or, better still, not think at all, and spark off the romance once again, by just doing romantic things. After a few years of knowing that someone special, doing anything romantic seems to be something that is contrived. You might think, “Oh, but that is so cliched - I have done that before,” and so on. So stop thinking, and pick up a list of romantic ideas and start ticking things off at regular periods.

Honestly, how long has it been since you wrote (or read) a love letter? Get started with some of these free love letters. Then improvize to come up with your own ideas. Since ideas are free, here’s one - call up your S.O. at the office and leave a message. It is better if a person takes down the message, as opposed to an answering machine. Make it go something like… “this is a message for my only true love,… yes, , .” Romance, like everything else in life, needs gentle care. The more romantic you get, the more romance you will receive, too. Trust me on that. I just survived to tell the tale of how a post-it note on the bathroom mirror got me an absolutely fabulous Saturday in exchange.

I saw this movie Nowhere in Africa, which was a nice movie and all that. What caught my attention was a dialogue in the movie, where the father of the protagonist says, “One always loves more than the other - that is the problem.” I thought that was a very insightful statement.

Now I come across the Passion Paradox. Briefly, it says:

Passion Paradox is a theory about romantic relationships created by Dean Delis in his book “Passion Paradox”. According to Delis, one partner is more in love – or emotionally invested in the relationship – than the other. The more love the loving partner wants from the other, the less the other feels like giving.

The more in love partner is in the one-down position, whilst the less in love partner occupies the one-up position. Men and women can occupy both positions at various times.

I now wonder if the script writer or the author actually knew that there was a name for what he/she wrote down for that dialogue.

The Economist is now in the agony aunt business. Well, if all agony aunts were like this, I would watch more TV, I guess.

Dear Natasha,

I understand your concern, but your future looks bright. A long-distance relationship will always put pressure on both of you, but it’s a question of how you use that to your advantage.

Economist Tyler Cowen, a professor at George Mason University, has pointed out that the Alchian-Allen theorem applies to any long-distance relationship.

Read it all, it is hilarious:
FT.com / Weekend columnists / Tim Harford - Dear Economist